Furious 7 (2015) - 7 Furious Lessons To Live By

Directed by James Wan (Saw)

Written by Chris Morgan (Wanted)

Starring:

Vin Diesel (Pitch Black)

Paul Walker (The Fast and the Furious)

Jason Statham (Spy)

Dwayne Johnson (Doom)

Michelle Rodriguez (S.W.A.T.)

Kurt Russell (Sky High)

Tyrese Gibson (Fast 5)

Chris Ludacris Bridges (Fast and Furious 6)

Natalie Emmanuel (Game of Thrones)

Ronda Rousey (UFC?)

Tony Jaa (Ong Bak)

Djimon Hounsou (Gladiator)

Let's all agree that the first film was a blatant unapologetic knock off of Point Break. Since then the franchise faltered for a film or three. Rockification has now led to three above-average films. This seventh and latest outing is the above-averagest of them all and is actually just a rather great movie. 

They (some unspecified conglomerate of thinkers) managed to successfully morph the movies from being about the trendy screeches and growls of street racing to becoming part of the always-in-style heist genre. 

"Furious Seven" was not only able to serve as a fitting send off to its franchise lead, it surrounded him with one moronically fun film. With Jason Statham's help, it enters into a new breed of unexpected, yet totally intentional, action-comedy. Usually, an action-comedy means there are jokes and there is action. Here, the action is the joke, and it's masterful. Its like the muscle-head cousin of "The Lego Movie." 

The narrative preaches "family" but the effects crew preaches adrenaline. Like punchlines in a Hannibal Burress stand-up set, each explosion was absurd and each stunt was immensely imaginative, and borderline offensive. James Wan and his crew had the tenacity to telegraph their stunts and still make them a thrill to watch. It was expected to be a good film and it delivered. Three words: Rock. Bottom. Camera.

The real take always, however, are not that it's a successful movie, it's the life lessons we learned along the way. Lessons beyond the word "family" being mentioned every five minutes. Here is a quick list of Seven lessons "Furious Seven" taught us.

Furious Lesson One - Carpooling:

• One car per person,
• Only plot devices exit a vehicle from the passenger side.  
• Exception: when the car will be completely obliterated. 

Furious Lesson 2 - Science:

• Cars are impervious to bullets. 
• Gravity is a toy. 
• The laws of biology are optional if:
• You are The Rock.
• You are Dwayne Johnson.
• You are a character played by either of the above. 

Furious Lesson 3 - Characterization:

• Backstory can be supplanted by an actor's life and reputation. 
• ex. Tony Jaa, Ronda Rousy, and Djimon Hounsou played Tattooed Tony Jaa, Fancy Ronda Rousy, and Djimon Hounsou, respectively. 

Furious Lesson 4 - Stereotypes confirmed:

• All women who wear hijabs are semi-incompetent ninjas. 

Furious Lesson 5 - Jason Statham:

• Best utilized when Stathomed throughout a movie. (See: Review for "Spy")

Furious Lesson 6 – Conversations:

• Must occur facing the same direction.
• Align all shoulders to selected horizon. 
• Do NOT make eye contact. 

Luda: "What's a parabola?"
Tyrese: "I think it's a type of bagel."
Vin: "Family."

Furious Lesson 7 - Promises:

• Made only about things you have zero control over and should definitely not make promises about.

2015 Rankdown:

1.      Kingsman: The Secret Service****

2.     Mad Max: Fury Road***

3.     Spy***

4.     Avengers: Age of Ultron****

5.     Furious 7***

6.     Predestination*

7.     Run All Night*

8.     Jupiter Ascending

9.     Ex Machina

(*denoted rewatchability)

Spy (2015)

Written and Directed by Paul Feig (Bridesmaids)

Starring:

Melissa McCarthy (Gilmore Girls)

Jude Law (Gattaca)

Jason Statham (The Italian Job)

Rose Byrne (X-Men: First Class)

Allison Janney (West Wing)

Bobby Cannavale (Snakes on a Plane)

Morena Baccarin (Firefly)

Miranda Hart

With Paul Feig at the helm wielding a remarkable throng of talent we get a comically sustained, high stakes espionage film that refreshingly puts women in positions of narrative power.  The strengths of “Spy” lie in its aversion to convention, its crude yet intelligent action-comic tone, and its spectacularly deep level of talent on screen led by Melissa McCarthy. 

This possible franchise starter is fantastic. Exhilarating in both comic tenacity and visual flare. Feig and McCarthy handle mayhem superbly and running gags keep you actively chasing jokes. Sadly but proudly, I was the only one of a particular niche who laughed at a sneaky hip hop joke. Kudos for that.  

Feig manages to never compromise vulgarity while injecting compelling stakes AND giving women all the good characters.  It’s something so rare that Feig, McCarthy, Byrne, and Janney make seem so simple. Beyond that, Feig has been arguably the most successful filmmaker in terms of progressing female characters not only within comedies, but in film. The guy is platinum right now. (Check out his latest series, “Other Space”  on Yahoo Screen)

“Spy” equals the triumph of the “Jump Street” films. It is tonally identical to them but instead of overt meta-humor, laughter is drawn out of characters' stories. The minor characters (including throw-aways like a simple henchmen) are afforded a sincere complexity. This abundance of character building here finds its antithesis hilariously in Furious Seven. (That’s a compliment to the inventiveness of both films. While we're on that film, Furious Seven also stars Jason Stathom, using him quite similarly in what may become known as Stathoming.)

Another accomplishment of “Spy” is that Feig aptly peppers the major players across the storyscape in both respectful and creatively poignant ways. Top-billed names may go missing for chunks of time but they all shine when the spotlight finds them. It could be said that they are Stathoming effectively. Generally, each storyline is tied up. Every potential plot obstacle (plotstacle) is pleasantly and intelligently averted. Villainy was daftly on display. Like the baddies in Feig's “The Heat” (2013), they were sinister and stupid but always in appropriate amounts. 

Melissa McCarthy is finally set free with an awesome character that can go toe to toe with Jason Bourne or Ethan Hunt. Jason Statham hasn't been this good since Lock Stock. Rose Byrne was brilliantly sadistic with a subtle hint of humanity and her character was some ride. Janney and Miranda Hart never felt unwelcomed while Jude Law, who may have been miscast, still filled the role capably. 

While there is a romantic undertone, lessons are learned and smart decisions are actually made. The initial push for Agent Susan Cooper may have been her unrequited love of man's man but the message of the story is ultimately one of self realization. That lingering lack of agency for what is meant to be a strong female character is, in the end, not compromised. It is however, ridiculed, which is acceptable for a comedy.  

Where it did misstep was in weaving the conspiracy a bit too much. While every plot line was addressed in some way, we're never given a holistic resolution. Certain threads feel hollower than others, like they wanted to set something up for the future. That maneuver is slightly insulting to the integrity of a self-contained story. 

Visually, this movie found upped sexy. By that I mean the sultry mistress that is slow motion and the supermodels of camera shots, the overhead. These weapons of mass dope-itude were paired off better than a hunk of mozzerella with some tangy Catalina dressing. And let's not forget the occasional blitz of zooms! Elements that should be carelessly abused by every movie where carelessly abused by this movie and for that, it has been bestowed the honorable Bag of Yes for films that refuse to say "no, don't do that!" Thankfully, and with astonishingly little delay, “Spy” injects visual gooeyness and it goes on to be fantastically liberal with the lens for the entire runtime. Shout out to the high speed camera team.

I look forward to Feig and McCarthy's "Ghostbusters" reboot. Go, Suki, go! 

2015 Rankdown:

1.      Kingsman: The Secret Service****

2.     Mad Max: Fury Road***

3.     Spy***

4.     Avengers: Age of Ultron****

5.     Furious 7***

6.     Predestination*

7.     Run All Night*

8.     Jupiter Ascending

9.     Ex Machina

(*denoted rewatchability)

Ex Machina (2015) - A Bleak Tale of Playing God.

Written and Directed by Alex Garland (Dredd, Sunshine)

Starring

Alicia Vikander

Domhnall Gleeson (Dredd)

Oscar Isaac (Drive)

Garland's directorial debut is the mechanical offspring of “Under the Skin” (2014) and “Jurassic Park” (1993). It manages to be suspenseful and thrilling, gently littered with gorgeously rendered effects while swathed in a solitary alienness.

The story and subject matter (artificial intelligence) is skillfully handled by Garland. He shows his talent as a sci-fi savant by coherently playing with futuristic and idealic technologies. The risqué and passively erotic denouement, whose build-up manages to be both thematically haunting and visually exquisite, ultimately leaves you cold.

I'll forgive the film for it's inaccuracy with portraying human blood on the grounds that I have also never been successful in replicating it. That said, it shouldn't look like cough syrup. Come on, Garland, go watch "Brothers Bloom." 

A detail that must be mentioned is that house. Such an incredible abode carved into a mountain. Surpassed only by the hyper-practicality of the “Gone Girl” (2014) house, it is definitely one of the best fictional dwellings ever created.

Another plus for the film is the tiny cast's dynamic chemistry. Vikander is chilling in her calmness, much like Scarlett Johansson in ''Under the Skin." Issac sports what I would dub as an uncomfortable beard and a menacingly casual wardrobe. You are always on edge during his every interaction with Gleeson. The two actor’s display here bodes well for their next team up, "Star Wars: The Force Awakens."

“Ex Machina” has an intimate core that is carried in a genuinely meaningful direction but the inhumanity of each character leave a bitter aftertaste. It’s not a perfect movie but it is a decent one. Technically it is the least entertaining movie I’ve seen all year.

(No more numbered ratings, DEAL WITH IT! Instead, I proudly present the post by post rankdown with asterisk assist! Asterisks (up to four) represent replay value and level of instant classicality. Everything else is annually relative and highly subjective. HERE WE GOOOOO...)

2015 Rankdown:

1.       Kingsman: The Secret Service****

2.       Predestination*

3.       Run All Night*

4.       Ex Machina